Between hitting the gym and throwing the frisbee with my pup of a morning, part of my pre-shower routine generally includes sitting down at the kitchen table with a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almond Milk and banana slices and flipping through daily articles on my iPad. Some of the magazines I follow are parenting magazines, and I know that may seem weird because I'm not a parent, but I do it because --
I'm genuinely interested in the discourse that surrounds parenthood from an outsider's perspective
I like to be able to share content with my clients and followers, who generally are parents, that I think will either make them laugh, encourage them on a tough day, or provide them with insightful information.
On one such general morning, I stumbled upon an article titled "Dear mom on the iPhone: let me tell you what you don't see" by Tonya Ferguson.
Go ahead, click on that link and skim through it before we move on here.
So after reading that, I was a little conflicted. Part of me was like, "AMEN!" and the other part of me was a little, "you don't know what she's doing on that phone...give the woman a break already, jeez."
A few weeks later, I came across another article by an another author/mother Jennifer Hicks responding to the original, titled "Dear Mom on the iPhone: You're doing just fine".
Again, let's pause here while you slip over to that page and check it out.
One of the aspects of this discussion I find most interesting (and disturbing) is the passive judgement it brings to our attention.
"Maybe you work from home and you're still actually working, checking email, responding to clients, sending a proposal .... Maybe you have a friend or family member who's been ill and you're taking some time while the kids are happily occupied to send some texts to check in on them .... Maybe you're on Pinterest looking for ideas to help your kids adjust to their dad's latest deployment .... Maybe you have an older child in school and his teacher emailed you about a concern with behavior that you need to address .... Or maybe you realize that watching your kid every second of every day isn't necessary and that it's totally acceptable and actually good for everyone involved."
This banter and mixed ideas about motherhood is one of the reasons I wanted to start my "Monday's Mom's" series. Every woman has a different lifestyle with her home and work and not one is necessarily better than the other. As long as it works to meet the needs and values of the kids and the family as a whole, that woman is doing what she can, when she can, however she can, and she's doing it just fine.
What are your thoughts on these articles?
-Are you "the mom on her iPhone?" -How would you have responded to Ms. Ferguson's letter? -Have you ever felt judged or been confronted about your actions as a parent?
I'm so curious to know if these articles resonated with any of you so please leave your comments in the box below!
Next week's spotlight for "Monday's Moms" is Laura who works from home running her own Etsy shop of painted glassware and Toms shoes. All of the moms so far in the series have demonstrated completely different approaches to work and home life, and Laura is yet another example of a great mom doing great things. Make sure you check back to read her story! In the meantime, you can catch up with the rest of the series by reading about Erica, Shannon, and Amy.
If you're interested in sharing your story for the ongoing series, just email me for more info. You may also consider encouraging a friend or family member to participate by simply forwarding this post along!