The term SSB- or "Secret Single Behavior" was first geniusly coined by one dear Carrie Bradshaw in an early 2000's episode of Sex and the City. Somewhat self explanatory, it describes the somewhat embarrassing but comforting behaviors we fall into whenever there's no one else around. Said behaviors usually involve walking around naked or eating/drinking things out of their native containers. My brother recently confided that he made a box of mac and cheese and a package of fat free chocolate pudding for dinner on one such occasion (sorry bro, secret's out.) Solid SSB. 

SSB's take a new form whenever you're not actually single anymore, though. They morph into a whole new slew of behaviors once kids are introduced. When my husband left for a business trip last week, I got really excited to put the baby to bed early so I could eat Smart Pop out of the bag, sip a half glass of wine, and do my taxes in the company of HGTV's Chip and Joanne Gaines. 

Pathetic? Yes. Am I ashamed? Nope. 

It got me thinking of some of the things I would add to my "SSB" list if I had a whole day to myself... probably things like:

  •     drink a cup of coffee from start to finish without reheating while reading my favorite blogs in bed.  
  •     take >5 minutes to do my makeup
  •     put on a shirt that requires ironing and doesn't need to meet requirements set for quick baby access. 
  •     curl my hair. 
  •     Browse a bookstore and then find a cozy spot to hunker down for a few chapters at a park. 
  •     Go to a coffee shop and write while sipping more coffee. Maybe even (gasp) a latte. 
  •     call old friends. 
  •     do a full one hour yoga session 
  •     go shopping and actually try stuff on. 
  •     eat breakfast for every meal of the day.
  •     Drink more coffee. Is it 5:00 yet? Switch to wine. 
  •     Take a bubble bath and read more of that book in the company of candles. 
  •     Put on sweatpants, hair in a bun, and eat mixed cereals from a mug while watching shameless chick flicks on TV and browsing    Pinterest. Ahhh bliss.  

Carry's SSB was eating jam from crackers while standing in the kitchen reading Vogue. Blasphemy. I'm sorry Carry, people do that during cocktail parties. You vacuum in cute underwear and crop tops. You live in a different world. 

My SSB list has become less about embarrassing behaviors, and more about indulging in slight comforts without time restriction. 

The funny thing about marrying your best friend, though, is that there's really nothing that embarrasses you. Sure, the first year of marriage I kept my pajamas cute and my portions bird-like-- until I realized that was no fun and he didn't really care anyways.

Note: The mark of a man who really loves you-- he'll encourage a date night in sweatpants every now and then and bring an extra spoon for the pint of ice cream. 

And as I look at that list of SSB's, I realize, I may not get a whole day of all those things thrown together, but I get my bliss in others ways. Mainly in little baby smiles, work that fills me by serving others, and a husband who comes home every night with new ways to make me laugh. One day, I will tackle an entire pot of coffee again and a novel from cover to cover.

But for now, I'll gladly embrace my lack of secrets and single behaviors. 

 

What would you do with a whole day to yourself!? What are your favorite SSB's?! Sound off in the comments below, I'm dying to hear them :-) .

 

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